Title: The Random Mystery (version 1.3)
Dramatis Personae:
     Megan Fellows as Vash the Stampede
     Deanna Morrison as Meryl Strife
     Sarah Bloy as Milly Thompson
     Dave Hogle as Nicholas D. Wolfwood
     Joseph Barrington as Legato Bluesummers

SCENE: Some non-descript place.  VASH, MERYL, MILLY, and WOLFWOOD enter as if they are going someplace.  LEGATO is in the background, randomly, with a grocery bag full of stuff.

MERYL
You know, Vash, that was really uncalled for.

VASH
Hey, it wasn’t my fault.

MERYL (frustrated)
Cause of damage: massive squirrel bites.  Please
pay all claims.  Who buys squirrel insurance anyway?

WOLFWOOD
I for one never wanna see another squirrel.

The group has been walking across the stage.  At this point, MILLY stops suddenly.

MILLY
Hey, it seems as though we’re missing something.

The rest of the group stops.

WOLFWOOD
What, you mean half your height?

MILLY (annoyed)
Look who’s talking, Mister Priest.

VASH (whining)
Oh, c’mon.  We have to catch that bus!  All our
Stuff is on that bus!

MERYL reaches into her bag and pulls out a box.  She hands it to VASH.

MERYL
Have a doughnut and quit whining.

VASH, in his excitement to take the box of doughnuts, jumps around happily.  WOLFWOOD backs into MILLY, who drops her stun gun as a result.  As VASH eats and MILLY checks her gun over, MERYL and WOLFWOOD converse.

MERYL (continued, to Wolfwood)
Anyway, are you sure we got everything? I
wouldn’t want to leave anything behind.

WOLFWOOD
Positive.

MILLY
Oh no!  It’s broken!  The firing mechanism’s all
messed up!

VASH (taking the stun gun)
Oops!  Sorry about that!  Here, let me see it
a moment.  Maybe I can fix it.

MILLY (^_^)
Thank you, Mister Vash!

MERYL
Milly, are you sure you got everything from
the hotel room?

MILLY
I think so.  But it just seems like we’re missing
something.

VASH inspects the stun gun.  At one point, he looks into the barrel.  Suddenly, there is a “boom” of sorts.  VASH falls over backward, holding up the stun gun as he drops.  LEGATO pulls out a camera and snaps a quick picture of VASH.  MILLY grabs the gun from VASH.

MILLY
Oh!  You fixed it!  Thank goodness!  But it still feels
like we’re missing something.

On one side of the stage, where LEGATO is doing random things, he pulls KURONEKO out of his grocery bag and looks at it, puzzled.  KURONEKO meows.

MILLY
Wait!  The feeling’s gone now!  I guess we can go!

MERYL, MILLY, and WOLFWOOD begin to walk off the stage.  VASH remains out cold on the ground where he is.

WOLFWOOD (to Milly)
Milly, what’s it like being you?

MERYL
I’ve been troubled by that question for
some time now.

MERYL, MILLY, and WOLFWOOD leave the stage, passing the black cat.  Pause.

MERYL, MILLY, WOLFWOOD (unison)
Vash!  C’mon!  We’re gonna miss the bus!

VASH (as he picks himself up off the ground)
Hai, hai…

VASH exits, followed closely by LEGATO.
 

END