This one goes out to my good friend Shorinai, for putting the idea in my head through the innocent use of a joke while writer’s blocked.
Ha! Didn’t think I’d actually use it, did you? ^_^
It wasn’t his fault. Why was it always
his fault? Okay, there were those three times, but this time, it
was not his fault.
Standing upside down on one hand in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, fourteen year old Obi-Wan Kenobi struggled to maintain a grip on his concentration. Next to him, his master, Qui-Gon Jinn did the same. Watching the two of them with a critical eye, Jedi Master Yoda stood a few yards away, leaning on his gimer stick and tapping one short finger on its wooden top.
“You got us into this,” Obi-Wan whispered to Qui-Gon.
“One little mistake,” Qui-Gon muttered.
“You had to do it, didn’t you. You just couldn’t let him win. Didn’t you learn anything at all when I tired it those three times?”
“As I recall, it’s my job to teach you, Padawan,” Qui-Gon said indignantly.
“When the Padawan teaches the Master in turn, the pairing is right,” Obi-Wan quoted Qui-Gon’s own words through clenched teeth.
“He has to be stopped,” Qui-Gon stated in all seriousness, “this cannot continue. You know it. I know it. The Council knows it. The whole Temple knows it.”
Yoda pointed to a stone near one of the fountains within their view. “Lift that stone, you must,” he commanded, “or rock-bottom you will hit, I think.”
In unison, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon turned their attention to the stone and reached out with the Force to levitate it into the air.
“Master Yoda, you can be so stone-faced about things,” Qui-Gon said to the small green Master.
“Master, will you just give already!?!” Obi-Wan plead to Qui-Gon.
“A Jedi must have concentration as solid as a rock, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon neutrally informed him.
“Ugh, this making me light-headed and nauseous!”
Yoda nodded at the pair and let out a barely perceptible giggle. “Very forceful, your Padawan is, Master Qui-Gon.”
If Qui-Gon could have shrugged, he would have. “Well, I’m not certain he understands the gravity of the situation.”
“Force, take me now!” Obi-Wan bellowed.
As if in answer to Obi-Wan’s plea, a rumble began to grow, shaking the Room of a Thousand Fountains. All three Jedi paused, listening to it as it grew. Suddenly, through the north entrance, burst a pack of at least ten very large, grey animals. From his upside-down vantage point, Obi-Wan saw that they were quadruped creatures with round bodies. Their heads sported large flapping ears and long trunks where noses would have been on any other creature.
The entire herd of them passed directly between Yoda and the other two, upside-down Jedi, running the length of the room, kicking up dust on their way, and exiting through the south entrance. Their stampede then faded off to a distant rumble once again.
There was silence in the room as the dust cleared and Yoda took in the dust-covered forms of his two students, still upside down, but looking quite confused over the sudden, random ordeal. Oddly enough, the short, green master hadn’t gotten so much as a grain of dust stuck to him.
Yoda turned toward the direction the large creatures had gone, thoughtfully.
“Hmm,” he finally said, “trunk-cated this lesson appears to be.”
To his side, Yoda heard the thump-thump of a pair of weary bodies hitting the ground. He was further satisfied when he heard the crash and clatter of all of the no less than eight items that had been floating in the air, each representing at least five painful puns apiece.
“I give,” Qui-Gon moaned.
Yoda gave a satisfied nod and turned to leave, slowly shuffling out of the room. “Remember this lesson you must, Qui-Gon.”
“He’s…” Obi-Wan stammered, “he’s a monster.”
“It’s not possible,” Qui-Gon agreed, “it simply cannot be so.”
“Master. What were those things… and where in the name of the Force did they come from?”
“Don’t know. Don’t particularly care right now.”