Title: Weekend at Kakkyou’s
Written by: Sarah Bloy
Idea by: Joseph Barrington
     Joseph Barrington as Kakkyou
     Carolyn Hays as Kotori
     Sarah Bloy as Arashi
     Deanna Morrison as Yuzuriha
     Dave Hogle as Subaru
     Matt Anderson as Seishiro
     Robert Laib as NoFace

SCENE: Some non-descript place.  NOFACE is standing in the background, staring at the audience with a soap token in hand.  KOTORI, in Dreamgazer garb and Kamui wings (one angel, one bat), is standing on stage, looking at a book about indigo dying.  After a moment, she holds up a black piece of fabric and puzzles over it.

Strange, it shouldn’t be this dark.  It was only soaking for three years.

YUZURIHA and ARASHI come on stage and approach Kotori.  Yuzuriha is holding an invisible dog leash and Arashi has her sword in hand.  Kotori puts her book down and greets them.  NoFace attempts to hand the soap token to various people throughout the skit.

Welcome to the Dreamgazers Hotel and Spa Resort!  Miss Arashi!  Miss Satsuki, how wonderful to see you both!

But… I’m Yuzuriha…

Oh, how silly of me!  Of course!  Terribly sorry!

YUZURIHA (waving it off)
It’s not your fault.  There’s so many characters in X, no one can remember them all.

All three of them suddenly look at the audience in suspicion.  Then, they wave it off and turn back to each other.

Anyway, we’re here for the weekend.  We have reservations.

YUZURIHA (grabbing Arashi and pulling her aside)
Are you sure about this, I mean, I really don’t know this is going to work.

Kakkyou’s father left him his estate and that includes membership in this Dreamgazers’ only spa.  This’ll be a cinch.

Provided he’s of sound mind and body!  Have you seen him!?  By the way, where are Fuuma and Kamui?

Who knows.  They couldn’t figure out the interchange off of I-90.  Anyway, trust me on this.  (she pulls Yuzuriha back over to Kotori)  Anyway, the reservation is under Kakkyou’s name.

And where is Mister Kakkyou?

There is a sudden amount of commotion back stage.  Two voices can be heard saying things like “get his other arm” and “no, no, that’s backward” in a panicked, disorderly fashion.  Finally, SUBARU and SEISHIRO come on stage, hauling along the limp, unconscious KAKKYOU.  They do their best to make him look conscious for Kotori.

SEISHIRO (imitating Kakkyou as Kusanagi moves Kakkyou’s hand to make it wave)
Hello, everyone!  Ready for a weekend of fun in the sun and relaxing by the pool?

Absolutely!  I’m starved!  Where’s the con suite!

KOTORI (offering them a box)
I have some Pocky if you want some.

Seishiro and Subaru both let go of Kakkyou as they reach for some Pocky, accepting the offer gratefully.  Kakkyou collapses to the floor in a heap.  Seishiro and Subaru both scramble back to him and lift him up again, dusting him off and inquiring as to his well being.

SUBARU(imitating Kakkyou as Seishiro moves Kakkyou’s hands)
I’m fine, perfectly fine.  Just a little fainting spell.  I’m sure this mountain air will do me good!
SUBARU (as himself, no pause between)
Good!  Good!  Glad to hear you’re feeling better after getting out of that bed!

KOTORI (reaching for her book and taking a piece of paper and a pen out of it)
Well, I’ll just need you to sign in, then I can show you to your rooms.

Seishiro and Subaru look at each other, tiredly, then haul Kakkyou over and, with some rather comical work, move Kakkyou’s hand to make him sign the piece of paper.

Wonderful.  There’s just a few more things.  First, well, I’m afraid there’s no pets here, Miss Yuzuriha.

YUZURIHA (feigned innocence)
Pet?  What pet?  Do you see a pet?

I do.

Arashi reaches over and whacks Seishiro, then gives an innocent look to Kotori.

And Miss Arashi, I’ll need to take your sword, please.  Just for safety, you understand.

ARASHI (suspiciously)
Well, I’d really rather not.

I’m afraid I have to.

Kotori reaches for Arashi’s sword as Arashi protests further.  But, when Kotori pulls, Arashi seems to be unable to let go.  There is a pause.

It’s stuck.  Okay, I can’t let go.

Goodness!  What happened?

Arashi mumbles something.  Subaru, Seishiro, and Yuzuriha all sarcastically prompt her to speak up.

ARASHI (angrily)
Sorata superglued it to my hand while I was asleep, all right!?!

Oh… well… I guess an exception can be made.  Come this way, I’ll show you to your rooms.

They all begin to head off stage.  Arashi looks puzzled for a moment.

ARASHI (to Kotori)
Hey, aren’t you supposed to be dead?  And why do you have the Kamui wings anyway?

Who can tell?  There’s so much symbolism flying around, I don’t know which way’s up any more.

Yuzuriha is being pulling in a number of directions by the invisible dog leash.  Subaru and Seishiro are last off the stage, tripping over Kakkyou as they go.  As they leave the stage, Kakkyou’s feet loudly clomp down the stairs.  NoFace attempts to give the soap token to people one last time, but is ignored.  He acts downcast for a moment, then shuffles across the stage to give the token to the MC.

Is this for me?

NoFace nods, yes.

Are you going to eat me?

NoFace shakes his head, no, then shuffles off stage.